Mother of the Year...

Reading Advisory: You may need to skip this one if you do not have children or if you are a "young married" with only one or two....(the "established" moms will know from whence I speak)

Tennille (on Monday, after school): "MOM, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE ME TO REAGAN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY ON SATURDAY!!!"
Me: "Oh my goodness! I am so sorry...I cannot believe it." (Actually, I totally remembered, just didn't feel like taking her. In my own defense, the party was an hour away....I had already driven two hours, round trip, to pick up Parker from a campout, drove him to a soccer game...and yes, I could have taken her afterwards but would have had to scramble to get Parker back to a traveling soccer meeting....so, I never mentioned it and she forgot and it was good.)
Tennille: "Was I so busy that day?"
Me: "Absolutely. Why, did she say anything to you?"
Tennille: "YES....SHE WANTED TO KNOW WHERE WAS I AND, MOM, THE WHOLE CLASS WAS THERE!! (Now I can hardly believe the rest of her class had nothing else to do so they could make that party.)
Me: "You just tell her that you were overbooked."
Tennille: "I told her I must have played in many soccer games that day. Did I?"
Me: "Yes...don't you remember? You were playing and playing...in fact, that was the day you earned your championship medal." (As you know, she has been done with soccer for weeks.)
Tennille: "Okay."

On Monday, I had a call from Bryce's school saying he was sick and should be picked up. I said, "fine", and hung up. I didn't have makeup on and knew that would take a few minutes....plus my hair would need to be done...heaven knows I am not walking into the high school looking like a homeless person....so a big light bulb goes off in my head and I called back and asked if I could give verbal permission to have my sick child walk home. Done deal. When he got home, admittedly looking somewhat pale, I made him some soup and apologized for his walking while sick....and then told him I could not find the car keys. In my defense... DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG HE WOULD HAVE SAT IN THAT OFFICE WHILE I MADE MYSELF PRESENTABLE ENOUGH TO PICK HIM UP??!!

Tuesday morning...in the bathroom, before school, while I was getting ready to substitute teach...
Riley: Mom, do you know you are causing global warming with that hairspray?!
Me: WHAT?! (Now I am totally fired up...) You go and tell your liberal, polar-bear-loving teachers that I believe global warming is evolutionary and I will use this hairspray until the day I die. (Yes, a little dramatic but there was no where else to go, what with her criticism of the best invention ever.)
Riley: "I just don't get why you use that stuff, who wants their hair that stiff?"
Me: (So now I am trying to take deep breaths to prevent myself from early contractions...) (And of course, I am back to wondering why the universe hates me because I have a daughter who would prefer to wear her hair in low Marcia Brady pigtails, rather than spiral curls.....I feel like Nancy Kerrigan when she was smacked in the knee and she just kept repeating, WHY ME?! WHY ME?!) I sufficed it to say, "Riley, at the end of the day, my hair will still be standing fluffy and fantastic due to this fabulous aerosol can and perhaps....one day...in the not to distant future...stars willing... you will come to see the light."

I am happy to report that I believe I have gone through the week without damaging Parker in the least....1 for 4 is a pretty good record....although, it is only Wednesday.