So, I go to download Bryce's picture and this....among several similar others....are on the camera. No one did it. (I love when my kids take me for an idiot.) If you look closely, you will see half a shoe at the bottom....with a foot in it. The other kids just look away smiling, knowing that one day Tennille will also realize how many "Law and Order" episodes I have watched...can't put the big stuff past me.At least she was busy practicing her swaddling skills.
High School Wrestling has begun. Bryce (in blue) does look impressive....but I swear, sometimes I wonder if I am just raising eye candy with that one. He gets on the mat...the match begins...this is a match among team mates, it decides who will be on varsity, who will be J. V. Okay, so back to the match beginning....Bryce has muscles I didn't know he has, they popped in his arms, his thighs, he looked intimidating...the boy he is wrestling was older than him but Bryce beat him several times in jr. high....anyway, long story short, Bryce was pinned in the third round. And to make matters worse, when I see the opponent dressed in regular clothes...he is totally wimpy looking. What gives?! So, after paying ridiculous Mahomet sport fees, (for every sport, not just a one-time fee), and then shoes, warm-ups, etc... I now have a child who will be basically "red shirting"....meaning bench warming for the season. WHERE IS THE PASSION?! And I am saying this because I don't think he cares. While a freshman, he looks older...so the juniors and seniors have claimed them as his own (not a good thing....), and he is far too cool to care about winning, he will just sit on the bench, chat up the superstars and drink his gatorade.And, you might think, "well, at least you've got that 'my kid is on the honor roll' bumper sticker for him....No, you are mistaken. If boys can be airheads, I've got one.
I was explaining the process of an amniocentesis to the kids(Bryce just did a unit on reproduction, I studied with him forever, he actually did well....so my line of thinking is I will bring him into the discussion as an 'expert'.)
Me: So they will put a needle into my stomach and draw out a sample of what, Bryce?
Bryce: I don't know.
Me: yes, you do....the liquid that the baby floats around in....you just did this in health class.
Bryce: no.
Me: starts with A? Ammmm......?
Bryce: Amnesia?
Me: hopefully just in my mind: "where in hell's bells did that answer come from?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Me: No Big Guy....amniotic _______?
Bryce: Acid?
Me: (By this time, I am completely done with this child) FLUID!! FLUID!! AMNIOTIC FLUID!!
Bryce: Fluid....Acid....same thing.
Me: (I have nothing left to even respond with.... I must go watch SuperNanny and see where I went wrong.)
2 comments:
You are spoiling me with entertainment now!! I am literally laughing out loud! I had the sex/intimacy talk with one of my children over a year ago. Just a few months later, I was asked a sex question, out loud, in the car, in front of all the children. "Mom, did you know that when a boy gets happy his 'private part' gets big?" I was thinking where were you when we had that talk(which included that info AND the fact that All the things we discussed were not to be shared with the younger siblings!!!!???? I was there, you were there, we both participated in the discussion...
I now believe that the 'birds and bees' is just one big ongoing discussion that will last the rest of their lives! Maybe they literally do have a hole in their head where the info that goes in randomly falls out!
I am still chuckling with this post.
I hope everything goes well with your baby in the amniotic acid!
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